I don’t like to say it to myself. But, worse is that whether I tell it to myself aloud, just whisper stealthily, or keep running from it… fact is that I don’t understand what freedom is… not entirely… and hence maybe, not at all. I was born in freedom… chained by this insolent blindness.


That Bird… Should Be Ashamed

… pretty much like that bird which eats off the back of otherwise pissed rhino… whine, complain, watch a movie to praise the work of director, the actor, music composer… whine a bit more… curse… complain. … numb, aren’t you?
… Funny thing about shame is that you cannot know when and how to be ashamed, feel guilty! And they say “shame on you!”

Normal Frustration and Blood Pressure

How cool it would be if they invent a blood test or else to let one know how frustrated he is! For that they’ll come up with something called ‘medically normal level’ of frustration. I think that it will be quite a revelation when a pathology report would say that you’re too frustrated to be on the road! And then will begin the hunt for the reason for it. Cure? The same–yoga, exercise, go running, spinning, listen to good music and read good books.

… well, frustration is useless ’cause it provides with neither insight nor solution or clearer vision. But it is fundamental reason of desperation and myriad psychological issues.

Things About Orgasm

I find the word orgasmic much more profound than the orgasm itself. And I am not a big fan of sex anyway. The thing is that there is an effort which seems effortless in bringing the realization that everything about the deed has been realized. When I sketch, I feel orgasmic ’cause I am the one who accomplishes it without anybody’s orders or interference. And I love it! I love all those things which I see myself doing and I do them without any help. I don’t consider gifts lucky ’cause they get you expecting for a happiness to be brought to you, while happiness is there within me all the time.

I require to set myself free… this is something I have been feeling for so long. The constraint is fear here. … I just require to be in my own command, under no one ever, to like this life of mine.

How Would Rapes Stop When Prostitution Hasn’t in Ages!

They have failed in stopping prostitution. And it didn’t bother you candle light crusaders, huh?
Going to red-light area was one the earliest things guys did once they came to hostel in 1st semester… it never stopped for many, while few got girlfriends etc. Did you think only labourers, rickshaw pullers etc succumb to their yearning like this? The clientele is quite huge!
These same people are are now required to keep ‘regular’ girls[ones who don’t have themselves called prostitutes by society] from being raped..
Capitalism thrives chiefly on creating few people and making them seem more fortunate, and hence getting the on-looker wish for a bite of his fortune. Those who are strong know that any day they can fall prey… so they keep hunting.

Just a Passing Thought

considering sex helps humans feel relaxed and calm both physically and mentally, why are they not considering the probability of rapists being thoroughly frustrated at both conscious and subconscious levels? Frustration and despair are much deeper than what morality has become in present. And there is no denying that overall noise and reasons which frustrate us are steeply rising! … there is just no hope until you’re too damned smart… hence the fear makes us feel shackled causing frustration and despair. Hence people are being just pushed to edges–back-bitching, betraying, stealing, harming prospects of each other… even immoral endeavours are fine until they know to keep it hidden.

… maybe I am over-thinking ’cause I haven’t slept a wink in past 29 hours. But if I am right, Govt must make liquor cheap, citing the usual consumption and the average age group majorly consuming it in NCR!
So, the easy steps towards the solution could be encouraging people to exercise, give them sundays, create more parks, organize free music concerts, reduce the number of hoarding in the city, strictly penalize blowing horn unnecessarily… don’t make them self-centered greedy bastards!
Moral values and democracy in our nation have always been more of hypocrisy, but in pseudo-socialist India, people didn’t have dreams of an stupid iPhone or a rolex… the lesser the pipe dreams, the lesser the greed and impatience.
Sadly, we’re focussing on stricter law–just making the cover of pressure cooker heavier or putting more weight so as it doesn’t steam rather than turning down the flame.. Such fierce campaigns to become soldiers for women and what not… and then fight who… deranged fellow citizen? Great!


There is this theory about why men have nipples that everyone is a girl child before testosterone begin reacting with the foetus. Well, it’s not just testosterone which reacts and gives you a dick, it’s the sexual priming of child after birth which tries to get him understanding that a functional dick is just an illusion of manhood ’cause you still have nipples, and until they can ass-fuck you because of any of your ‘weakness’, you’ll keep a sissy! Anyone who tries stand up to the fact that there is no denying your being ass-fucked by anyone who’s stronger than you in any scenario is finally beginning to react to the testosterone–it can be a woman or a man too.

For men it becomes tougher ’cause they’re blinded by this big fat lie of patriarchal society, while for women it’s like a mountaineering expedition–full of fun and reward of self-reliance, belief. I personally consider my man-nipples a more potent a sign than a dick–which I have delightfully kept useless ’cause I haven’t been able to believe that I am a ‘man’ yet.

… I require to play only Opeth tonight.