The Reason

There is a pattern in all of my chapters with people. Often people find me to be a very close friend until something big happens in their lives, until the dynamism of their lives is changed by something like finding love, new job, moving offshore etc. I am a part of their past then… and I exist should they choose to keep close to it…. I always ask people one question before giving them any real valuable hopes of mine: if wind blows and leaves fall, what they would choose to be—the tree, wind or the leaves. I know that I am a tree ‘cause I cannot let go of something which my inside justifies and desires irrespective of how many times I fail and how much[many] I lose. I don’t mind pain—it’s only weakness leaving body, or maybe I am a wreck, a masochist.

But people require to move on to better lives, towards love, family, money and comfort. Whenever I see something big changing in the lives of ones I care about, I tend to cut myself off in a manner that they don’t notice and be able to forget me entirely. I seriously have no idea why I just cannot be the same way! And it hurts a fucking lot too! But somehow my inside tells me that this is the path to be, the truth of it all because I am only going for what I desire, I am being honest and am not cheating, being lenient to myself. I just cannot do whatever my inside finds wrong or else I am weak, afraid of pain which is indelible anyway. … and hence i keep alone, afraid of going close to people because I am unable to move with them.


Prototyping a Maglev train using LEGO

I got to watch it!



Serious research using not-so-serious equipment? We don’t know about that. What’s wrong with using LEGO as a research platform for a Maglev? This team has been doing so for quite some time and with great results.

A Maglev is a vehicle based on the principles of magnetic levitation. Similar poles of magnets repel each other and this concept can be used to create a friction-less track system. But this raises the problems of braking and locomotion. The build log linked above covers the conception in what is the eighth iteration of the research project. But the video below offers the most concise explanation of their approach to these issues.

The researchers are using magnets positioned in trench of the track as a kind of magnetic gear to push against. A series of electromagnets on the Lego vehicle ride in that track. The can be energized, working as a linear…

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26 June 2013. Sergei Yolkin’s World. Everybody’s Talkin’ about Snowden

Voices from Russia

00 Sergei Yolkin. Everybody’s Talkin’ about Snowden. 2013

Everybody’s Talkin’ about Snowden

Sergei Yolkin



Ever since Edward Snowden, the former American intelligence tech employed by Booz Allen Hamilton, talked about his involvement in the transmission of classified information to journalists, the world’s media has watched his actions vigilantly. Sergei Yolkin gives us his take on the situation.

24 June 2013

Sergei Yolkin


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Apologies to the Society

Well, the knowledge is only when you find answers and not the shitload of useless information. If some day you are turned on by a body[male’s or female’s, not necessarily human], you’re in no position to question for you are drowning in what you know about what all makes the body so darn irresistible. However, this same body could be must more than a touch, a smell, a taste, a voice… the body does in fact feel much more than it actually is because of your ‘hormones’.

I once asked a friend of mine who had been both in love and in physical relationship what makes two bodies lovers while love is virtually everywhere. She confirmed that a yearning for eachother’s body is mandatory to be lovers. I have always felt it to be a defeat to look to mollify, to please my body–I don’t have a favourite dish, dislike to sleep and haven’t been able to get myself to like sex either. But this is just because I have known a pleasure beyond bodies and my existence in society–the bliss of being able to explain, of having found answers in numbers, in equations. I don’t think I can ever be a lover in sense of society which is a cloth woven around pursuits for comfort and pleasures. I have no right to look down at it. Maybe they’re preparing for the old age when it would be tough to go on bearing travails….

I am apologizing because I have been lying. I am unable to feel free with thought of people in my consciousness. I am an impostor. I am gullible and stupid because I have yearned to associate with people… because due to my inability to feel free, I tended to keep out… I wanted to belong. I gave a lot of value to anyone who showed a little interest in my being, understood me.. I cursed society with my expectations and wishes.

I am so sorry.

The Dark Side of the Moon

Past few days have been tough for me. Especially because I have finally achieved a clear vision of my soul while this modern world isn’t about it. Yet I have to exist. I know that I am fearless and unbounded on the inside. The tough part is having to let go of a few dear ones I have had ’cause they do not really understand the difference between their relative existence and individuality. I am meditating more. I am having to keep my thoughts consumed within me ’cause there is no one I should share them with. They are looking for love, marriage, sex, comfort, keeping carefree… while it all is the first level of existence only–the bland, blinding and two dimensional one. Guys in early twenties like me find it so natural to look at young girls and wish for physical proximity in a way that it could be a dish served on pornographic menu. Why do they never question what they’re wishing for? What they’re doing… as if having a cigarette, travelling on bikes to beaches and hanging out with sassy strangers to make stories cool enough for a HBO series or Mtv is the sole purpose of their existence. Having cool new gadgets, having 1000 something facebook friends, knowing to play cool guitar tunes and canteen/cafeteria shit is all one damned illusion. I am not condemning their choice.

To put is rightly, the existence of humans can be in two ways: ways of body and the ways of soul. Now the soul is not how hollywood portrays it, nor is the peace like Poo has it in Kung Fu Panda 2. Ways of soul can not be expressed to some one who hasn’t seen their manifestation within self. I found them in how I felt, what I thought[those watts of power in my neurons] when I completed a painting after 8 hours, how it felt to have found a math equation which had a variable which fitted state of your life, how it feels when you be in a moment, find a book or a person and are forced to think of all of it to be not just a coincidence, but a larger equation… as if you are a part of cosmos. I try not to borrow the understanding of soul from Vedas or any religious text ’cause then it will all the same it’s in the book crap.

I so dearly wished that I could exist at both levels–the body and the soul. But, body being bound and torn apart by affects and afflictions, fears and above all habits, tends to move towards the death, while the soul tends to set free… abolishing the whole notion of beginning and end. Body is level one because it is where we exist by default–existence is bound to be relative because appeasement of body’s requirements is impossible without providing it with things like food, air, water, shelter etc which now have been extended to winning the race of getting a sexual partner, having an iPhone to somehow be able feed from the collectivization of people.

I don’t wish to buy an iPhone no matter how many new iOSes they release because at the end of the day, it’s just a phone. But yes, there has been a lot of science and aethetic beauty in it which is pure knowledge, a certain level of thought… an ecstasy.

I wish to be able to say all this to someone and hope to be understood and not judged as a boring ass contrarian. But, all my friends are just twenty somethings who want to relish what all their bodies allow or look for–they want attention. I tried to go by ways of body for a while but it’s not in me, I cannot feel anything but contempt for myself upon having given to relative existence. I am on the dark side of the moon… fell out of all of it.