Why Suddenly?

Today evening I had gone out to buy vegetables when I saw a kid running around naked and there was nothing vulgar.. and I began thinking why is a visual of a vagina or a penis ever thought of as vulgar?

It isn’t vulgar.. so I looked up many many pictures of vagina today and it is as beautiful an organ as fingers or lips or eyes or smile.. perfect in its form and existence…. I am strongly feeling like sketching vaginas for a while… to get over the whole stupid visual thing. I mean it has neither to be seen as vulgar nor a turn on, erotic or what… it’s an organ! It is there for a purpose! And it’s so goddamned beautiful!

I Made a Colouring Book

I sketched some 16 drawings which can be coloured for the birthday of this little girl I know and couriered it miles away. She received it yesterday and she told me that she loved it! I am so happy that I could think of something to gift, considering this is just the second time in my life that I have gifted something on a person’s birthday! I have this tendency to give only hand-made things… and I find it extremely tough to think of what to gift! Anyways, for this year I think I’m saved! =D

Nothingness, Nobody-ness, Doesn’t Matter-ness, Ness-ness, Uselessness

tiny-ness,  futile-ness… speechless-ness… cast away sort of feeling… as if there is no home to be ’cause I shouldn’t be in any house… as if I’m a loser. And when I say I ain’t a loser, my inside looks down at me and asks me to justify this claim of its… but at the same time I am failing to speak.. even failing to wish..

GCC must work.. I must work.. deactivated facebook.. Why do I wish to disappear…?

Few days back, a stranger girl–a friend of my flatmate–asked why I don’t have a girlfirend. I told her that I ain’t cool enough. But on the inside i kept telling myself that I don’t consider myself deserving one, not yet….

and all of it ’cause sketched a lot?

Having sketched always leaves me… I dunno… kinda satisfied, kinda low, calm… feeling weak… but seeing the true picture… pitying myself maybe… shouldn’t be this way though.