Nothing Is a Bit Like It Was Told in Books or Movies

Everything’s much more profound… The idea of characters is a smudged rear-view mirror ’cause some writer’s imagination has always been filled with desires and futile attempts to put that in words which cannot be. What largely takes the sheen away from it all one unknown wednesday afternoon is the fact that everything, everywhere is a story. The deception of perception is the darnest lie ’cause it can never be guessed where this river of your ability to ascertain truth is poisoned with what you’d wish to be true ’bout you[some day, any day… any fucking way]… you can no longer decide what’s veritable–in worst case, ’bout yourself–and require ‘them’. Their presence in landscape of your thought marks a point-of-view for self affected by what all enslaves them. It’s like going to the most popular bank and buying what all they are paying debts for… ’cause you couldn’t handle it all by yourself. There is no balance. There is no goodness or bad-ass. There is nothing like positive of negative attitude either. Nothing is for free ever! Associations, affections, indulgences, noises, voices, smells, tastes et cetera, all the things which make us wanting to live also create fear of losing it all ’cause there is human existence without all of it too and winds from that land often make our morning quite hot and humid. The most fucked up fact is that we require to compartmentalize our thought, our perception to keep living. For most of ’em, sanity is thinking and feeling like the rest of ’em, making fear of being entirely alone implicit–it’s okay to fear losing job, money, a cricket/soccer match maybe et cetera. Even falling in love–which is so highly sought for and revered thing ’bout being alive–is practically nothing ’cause it IN FACT IS NOTHING! It doesn’t mean anything, it’s no action, not a conclusion… maybe more useful to the marketing people than to myself! The girl might not share same emotion, the world outside the camera lens is still the way it was yesterday–callous–my abilities, chances for survival, grasp of fearlessness, immunity against pathogens… everything is exactly the same! But, the stories from books, movies and everywhere else has glorified this nothing more than anything. There are only truths… and truth is what happens.

… I am living to reach fearlessness; before I attain that, I ain’t living. Materialistic possessions are weakness–I often find myself in a fix when I am asked what I want to buy… there isn’t anything any more which i’d want to own by buying.


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